I’ve mentioned my husband and I recently decided to move our son out of his private school (wonderful in so many ways) to the public school down the street (wonderful in ways we don’t even know yet).
Reflecting on the process we went through to make this decision it’s interesting to feel the way I feel now and recall what a complete mess I was leading up to the decision and how so many decisions go down in this way.
I was running a loop of the ways in which this is will vastly alter our life and what a huge deal it was. What would he be missing out on? What would we be missing as a family? What about the friends we’ve made? What if he’s behind the rest of his new class? What if he doesn’t make friends? What if? What if? My focus was 200% on what we were losing. That’s the impossible to climb mountain I created and it did not feel good.
I’ve seen it about a million times in my own life and I’ve seen it in my clients’ lives as well.
There is a tough decision to make and a mountain of worry, agony, fear and frustration builds. While we’re in a full blown panic at the base of this mountain we just know this could all be terrible, it could not work out, it could mean lives are ruined, we could make the WRONG decision. All of this in anticipation of how bad it could be or is going to be.
Do you know what I’m talking about? Have you been the Crazy Lady at the base of this mountain before? Me too and here’s the thing:
That Crazy Lady at the bottom of the mountain phase is the hard part. That’s the worst of it. The longer we stay there, the shittier it feels. Period.
Anticipation of the terrible, scary, new, unknown is worse than the actual terrible, scary, new, unknown.
Once we made the decision to switch schools the worries faded because now we had a path and we can navigate a path. We can get help if he’s behind, we can all make new friends, we can still see our old friends, we have a 2 minute walk to school, we’ll meet more people in our neighborhood. No more mountain.
I see this with new clients all the time. They spend so much time worrying about whether they should get coaching, what the perfection decision is to help them navigate their challenges, they worry and then as soon as they make a decision, it gets better. If it’s a yes, they almost immediately start having Aha’s and making little changes even before we officially start. They’ve taken ownership of their lives, they made a decision and that powerful feeling is motivating. It helps us see possibility, new perspectives, ideas and actions.
So decide. Before that tricky mind builds a mountain that makes you Crazy. If you’ve already got a mountain making you Crazy, make a decision so you can clear a path.